Thursday, May 10, 2012

Truth is...



I have been debating whether or not to hit the “publish” button or not for about 3 days…
Part of my reasoning behind this is that I always wanted my blog to be like me ‘lots of fun and drama free.’ I figured nothing in my personal life will affect my blog.

Truth is it has… The last two posts were absolute cover-ups… You may not have noticed this… But I have and I feel like I have been letting you down… Because you are my friends… all 91 of you… I feared that someone would read this post and judge me…

Truth is this is suppose to be my safe place where I can share my thoughts and be free of judgment. So I want to share with you something that is very personal to me and all I ask for in return is you sharing your thoughts and advice with me…

Truth is I love my boyfriend with all my heart… I love his two boys like they were my own… It hasn’t always been easy to date someone with children but the rewards out way the sacrifice that I have made.

Truth is my boyfriend's ex and I get along great! I consider her a close friend. You would think that she would be causing me the most drama but she's great and she's not! 

Truth is it's my boyfriend's mother and sister that are the source.. 

Truth is I am the nicest person you’ll ever meet… I love making you laugh and having a good time… Until you cross a line… Then it’s really hard for me to ever like you again.

Truth is my boyfriends mother decided to inform me that my boyfriend will
  1. Never marry me.
  2. Never have kids with me.
  3. She doesn’t want me to have kids with my boyfriend because she fears that she will never see her Grand baby because I am really close to my Mom.
  4. Questions whether I love my boyfriend’s kids.
This is when she crossed the line…

Truth is she blamed those comments on the fact that she had been drinking.

Truth is it has been said that you tell the truth when your drinking.

Truth is my boyfriend got a phone call the other day from his brother telling him that my friendship with my boyfriend’s cousin was upsetting my boyfriend’s sister. (got that?)  My boyfriend’s brother had asked my boyfriend if he could ask me to stop hanging out with my boyfriend’s cousin because it was causing family drama. Um, hi I am 31 years old and I will not be told who I can and can’t hang out with.

Truth is my boyfriend's sister is a jealous and out of control teen aged girl and I have nothing in common with her…She seems to always blame others for her own failures. She started this same drama with my boyfriend’s ex and now she’s moved on to me.

Truth is Sunday we went over to my boyfriend’s mother’s house… The second I walked up to the door I could feel it… I could feel all the hate and anger in that house… I walked in and not one person said hi to me…An hour or so later I was in the other room and heard them talking shit about me… Then I saw my boyfriend’s sister tweeted something about me …So I didn’t talk to them.. I withdrew myself, sat outside by myself and hung out with the boys. The reason I acted like this? Because I refuse to do what they want me to do… Cause a scene… So I kept myself as far away as I could.

Truth is my actions in fact didn’t go unnoticed and my boyfriend got an earful Monday morning from his mother about me… He was so upset about the whole thing that he told me that this was a conversation that he was not looking forward to having with me and didn’t want to talk about it just yet. He has been so distant from me since then.

Truth is I don’t know what to do… This is my boyfriend’s mother… And I never wanted to put him in this situation… I am a reasonable person and I know that he is enduring guilt trips from her. We need to talk but I am scared because I am very angry. I am afraid that I will start attacking her and our relationship will be done. But I don’t know what to do…

Truth is I need help.


 

8 comments:

Micah said...

Ugh. I wish I knew of a solution here. It doesn't sound like his mother has ever given you much of a chance. I wonder what the issue is. Did she have that problem with any of his exes?

Sorry you're going through all this drama. It's lame.

Ashley said...

Truth is you need to keep your head up and if you need to address it then you should. Don't allow anyone to be ugly and disrespect you like that and your boyfriend shouldn't either. When they disrespect you, they do it to him also. I'm sorry you're going thru this but they all need to grow up it sounds like. Tell all of them you aren't going anywhere and they can just suck one :) love

Lynn | Motherhood in Motion said...

Truth: Remember at the end of the day blood runs thicker and water (and marriage). And you don't just marry the man you marry his family. Think long and hard about what you can and will put up with and how you are treated by your boyfriend. And the end of the day how he treats you now is a huge reflection on how he will treat you when you marry.

Hang in there. I have been through this exact situation.It's not fun or pretty.

Unknown said...

Honey,
Truth is...never let anyone make you feel less of a person because other own personal issues.

Truth is...you sound like a non-confrontational person who is being backed into a corner by his families drama.

Truth is...just because you love someone does NOT mean you have to be with them.

Truth is...you don't deserve this...from anyone!

If you boyfriend decides to step away than remember...everything happens for a reason. He may love you but blood comes first (must of the time!) an it sounds like his mom is going to make him choose. You are beautiful and have your head on straight -- don't let his family take that away from you.

xo,
Allison

Ashlee @ ashleenikol.com said...

I completely agree with what everyone has said so far. It seems like his mother & sister are trying to do whatever they can to push you away from your boyfriend. He needs to be a man and get a hold of the situation.

I'm not very good at giving/taking advice, so I wish you the best of luck with this situation. If you ever need to vent, shoot me an email, I don't care one bit to listen :)

Unknown said...

I guess I will disagree with some of your other commenters. I WON the mother in-law lottery, but I have some girl friends who are in similar situations as you. It is hard, but they have decided to make it work. I think you do need to talk to your man about it, and see his perspective. It will suck, and be hard. I'm here for ya if you need to vent!

Katie said...

Do what's best for you! It's your relationship! Don't let anyone else make you feel inferior. Keep your head. And I think your pretty AWESOME!!

Jodi said...

Ugh that sucks. I'm so sorry to hear this. Hang in there and have a talk w/ your boyfriend and see what comes of it. But I think it is hard to be in a long term/serious relationship w/ someone if you don't/can't get along w/ their family. Sorry.