Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Memorial Day is right around the corner...Some of you are getting excited and making all sorts of fun summer things to do...
Not me...
Why? Because I live in Phoenix, Arizona.
And I absolutely hate summer.

One summer my car had no air conditioner... So my mom bough me a fan that ran off batteries to "help" by providing a breeze...I came out from work one day and the plastic around the fan had melted and the fan no longer worked. I hate summer!

One day I went to open the car door and burned my hand... Summer= hate.

My electric bill has been over $200.. in the summer!

Are you feeling my pain yet?

I have lived in Phoenix for 18 years now and survived 17 summers (very proud of this) Out here we call people that have lived her for a long time 'natives.'

Being a so called a "native" of Phoenix has it's perks... One of them being the ability to bitch about how freaking hot it gets out here and get super excited when it rains. Both of which I do often (so be prepared)...

Surviving an Arizona summer takes strength and courage. Here's how you know your an Arizona Native...

* You park a mile away from the store to get parking in the shade rather then parking in the front and being in the sun.

* I have considered wearing oven mitts to open my car door, the front door to my house, put on a seat belt and hold a steering wheel, because driving with two fingers is dangerous.

* Post cards with skeletons and cacti that say these words "it's a dry heat" are not funny, they are scarily accurate.
* I have actually heard the phrase "It's a dry heat" so many times that I want to punch the next person I hear saying that in the face. I know it is a dry heat (we had 3% humidity yesterday) but saying it doesn't make any less miserable. 
* I can make sun tea instantly, fry an egg on the side walk (of course I tried it), and thaw anything in the freeze with in 30 minutes.

* I traded in my car last year because it had a black upholstery and the car could never cool down.

* I would never consider getting a car with leather seats because of the "ass-burn" thereat.
Do you think you could make it one summer without bitching? Test yourself... Go ahead and turn on your oven, wait a few minutes, open it fast and then close it... Feel that blast? That's what it feels like when I open my door to go outside. 

This picture was taken yesterday.. This is not the result of my car sitting in the sun for hours... This was how hot my car said it was outside.


lori said...

haha i feel ya, georgia summers can be pretty brutal as well.

Melissa said...

This is hilarious. I grew up spending part of my summers (read: June/ July) in Scottsdale and Tuscon and August in Palm Springs. I am used to those hot hot temps.

Kimberly said...

OMG that is too hot this early! Correction...that is too hot.(ever)